There was only the brilliance of the lilac light.
There was only this moment, the here and now...and then there was nothing.
--
Sticky eyes peeled back and squinted at the harsh light centered directly above them. It was bright. It hurt. The eyes closed again. My ears could hear snatches of words. Simple things:
"...we're losing him..."
"...get me 5 ccs..."
"...scalpel, no, clamp..."
"...blood pressure is dropping again..."
When her voice cut through it all, my body became hyper alert. Suddenly, every sensation was raw, and brushed the wrong way on my nerves. The clingy, sweat-stained fabric of something was plastered to my skin, making it itch. There was a deafening silence in the room that stank of fear. My tongue was glued to the roof of my mouth, the taste unpleasant, like a mouth full of dirty socks. I didn't open my eyes again. I just listened to her bare feet on the floor, stepping closer and closer to me.
"Hello, dear," Her voice was creation in itself, painfully full of meaning.
"Hello, Mother," I barely croaked out, my throat red and raw. There was a pulsing in my mouth and I tried to smack my lips together for moisture, but my mouth was drier than the Gobi desert.
"You haven't used your power in a long time. You didn't think there wouldn't be a backlash, did you?"
"Had to save her."
"The ghoul," I could hear the distaste in her voice. She couldn't understand why I would sacrifice myself for a "lesser" creature. Not speciest, just factual in her opinion. She had never understood my need to help others. Never understood why the loss of people I cared for was so damn painful. I like to believe she once cared about things like that, that so much exposure caused her mind to seal that part of herself off, to keep her from feeling that pain ever again. But moments like this, I'm not sure. "Regardless of your foolish decision, I am not going to allow you to die." I wanted to say I wished she would, but the few words I had already spoken had scraped against my throat like a hacksaw. I couldn't, plain and simple.
Her hand touched my forehead, cool and comforting. Then, there was darkness again.
--
I woke up in a hospital room. I hadn't been in a hospital room in a long, long time. The window blinds were pulled up, curtains drawn to reveal the gray skies of Pandemonium. Necromicon went on chugging while I lay feeble in a bed with a horrible need to use the bathroom. I settled for continuing to observe my environment.
The walls were taupe, a little stained here and there, probably by a bodily fluid of some sort that I would rather not contemplate. Minimal furniture, a recliner next to the bed's nightstand. The bathroom was tiny, I could see from here. The floors were brown linoleum. There was one picture on the wall, a small watercolor of a particular flower framed and put up as if an afterthought. I sighed.
The door opened, much to my surprise. A shaggy blonde poked his head through and muttered, "Thank god!" upon seeing me before he ran in. Clutching his hand was a small eight year old boy with bloodshot eyes and a red, running nose. Releasing Wally's hand, Fen leaped at me, landing on my stomach and hugging me so tightly I thought he might break me.
"Dad!" Fen said, voice muffled by my hospital gown. Tears from his eyes were already soaking through the standard issue garb, and I gently untangled him from around my neck.
"Hey. There's no need to cry, bud," I said, tipping his chin up and smiling. His lip quivered. "I'm alive, see? It's alright. Did Wally treat you well?"
Fen cracked a smile at that. "He let me ride on his shoulders, and he made funny faces, and sometimes he drank red stuff from little baggies, but he wouldn't share it. He kept saying you'd be okay but..." An embarrassed blush crept across his face, "I didn't believe him."
"Well, I guess you ought to start believing him now, huh?"
Fen giggled, and I looked over at Wally, offering him a small smile which was returned. There were dark circles under his eyes, and he was paler than the norm. Fen had put him through the wringer. Damn.
There was a gentle knock on the door, and then Tyr pushed his way inside. A huge breath left him when he saw me there sitting up, and he came over, grabbing my hand to give it an enthusiastic shake.
"Mal, don't you ever do that again. I thought you were dead! Well, dying." I had never seen Tyr so emotional before, and it made me feel...weird. Apparently he felt the same way, because he cringed and fidgeted on his feet. "So, uh... Due to everything that's transpired..." Tyr grimaced. "I hate to be the one to have to say this... The department can no longer affiliate itself with you. You've got to get out, find a new place of business, and reapply for your specialist permit."
"Are you kidding me?!"
Tyr looked apologetic, "I'm sorry, but you know how it is. I kept your secret as long as I could, but once others found out who your mother was, I mean after all that happened..." The regular joes, he meant. Once they found out my mother was The Almighty, they didn't want a damn thing to do with me. Suddenly, I was upgraded from threatening, to dangerous. I solved so many cases, and this is how they repaid me. Damn it!
"Fine, I'll move out."
"That's great, Mal," Wally nodded enthusiastically. "Good that you're gearing up to get back on your feet." He moved closer to my bed and pulled out a newspaper from behind his back, several things circled in red. "Might I suggest one of these fine buildings?"
I couldn't help but laugh. "What, you;'re already real-estate hunting? You don't even know if I'm really going to take you on as my partner or not."
"Oh, you totally are," Wally said dismissively. He pointed to a picture on the paper, "Look at this one."
We stayed that way for a while. Fen on my lap, Tyr standing by my left, Wally on my right jabbering on about something or other. Eventually, Tyr cleared his throat and excused himself, off to bring justice to the masses. Wally took Fen to get dinner, and I was left on my own.
With effort, I got out of the bed and made it to the bathroom. I finished up and was exiting when I was stopped cold by the sight of Belinda on the recliner by the bed. Her gaze was focused outside, and she had a "Get-Well!" bear in her lap. There was a bag of candy treats on the nightstand.
"Belinda?" It came out as a question, me almost not believing what I was seeing. She'd been exposed to me when I was cranking out full power but she had come back? Even my wife wouldn't have a damn thing to do with me after seeing me like that...which ended with her and our daughter being killed. Now, someone I'd never done anything more for than try to get her to smile was here and waiting for me.
She turned, startled. "Oh! Hi, Mal." Awkward silence poured into the room, filling it to capacity. "I, uhm, I came to say thanks."
"Oh, uh. No problem, any time. Not that I wish there's another time, but, I mean...you know what I mean." Idiot.
"Yes," She smiled. I moved back to the bed, not able to keep standing on my legs which were threatening to give out. I made it to a sitting position with a grunt, and pulled my legs up to the bed itself, the head raised almost like we were sitting in two chairs. It would have been cozy had we not been in a hospital. "Have you talked to anyone about...things?"
"What things?"
"Well, you know Mal," Belinda blushed. My brow furrowed, I truly didn't know what she meant. When she saw I was serious, she bit her lower lip and tried to explain. "I mean, everything that happened. I don't even know everything that occurred. I thought I was going to, well... I thought that was the end. Then you did that crazy light show thing, and people are saying The Almighty is your mother, and..." She forced herself to stop and looked at me.
"It's a long story."
"I don't have anything else to do. They put me on leave at work."
"Alright then... You're right. The Almighty is my mother. I'm her only son." Belinda cringed at the information, but I understood. For several years now in Pandemonium, most citizens see her as a cold bitch, and I agree. She is. She lets the lesser gods do their thing, and wants nothing to do with her creations. The only thing she cares about is me, but we don't have a good relationship. She's not the ultimate being people want, but they don't push me away because of that. They simply don't want to do something to upset me that might upset her and get them obliterated. Like she'd take time out of her "busy schedule" to bother smiting someone. Like I couldn't do it myself.
"So, how long have you been..."
"Alive?"
"Yeah."
I sighed. "Millennia."
"Wow."
"Yeah. She only saved me because I was dying. If I die, she'll get in a mood. It keeps everyone else safe when I'm alive. I grew up with most of the gods. Babysat for them when they had kids, watched those kids grow. They all know me, but only Tyr knows the truth. The others think I'm some god of a pantheon that was long ago destroyed except for me. It's a dumb theory, but they like it. Guess that's ruined now.
"I've got a lot of power. As much as my mother does, actually, but she'd never admit it. I wouldn't either. I do my best to never use it, never let it surface. That's why I got so torn up after everything went down. I hadn't used it in so long, it was going to burst me apart. My body wasn't used to the power, wasn't a good conductor. I guess now I'll have to start slowly building back up my usage and tolerance for it."
"Is that why you take care of Fenrir?"
"How do you know about that?" I asked,sharper than I meant to.
"Wally told me," Belinda said softly.
"Oh," That idiot kid. "But, yes. I'm not truly a god. Fen can't accidentally kill me or hurt me. I have experience with kids. Loki doesn't. It's better this way."
"When are you coming back to work?"
My brow knitted in confusion, "Uhh, didn't Tyr tell you? I'm not coming back. Everyone wants me out. Find my own building, reapply for a permit and all that."
Her face paled, and it took me a minute to remember that for ghouls, outrage and anger make them pale. "I can't believe that! Well, if they're firing you, I'll just quit."
"Belinda--,"
"No!" She cut me off. "That's not acceptable behavior. Besides, if you're left to run your own office, you'll never survive the paperwork." She gave me a look. Okay, so maybe she did all of my paperwork when I got called onto cases, but she didn't have to rub my face in it. "So I'll work for you."
"Wait, what?"
"Wally said you're already looking at places. You'll need an administrator. Who better than me?"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. Besides, then...maybe I'll be safe," Her voice dropped, became quiet once more.
"Safe? From what?"
Her eyes widened in horror. "From Krishna!"
"Why would you need to be safe from him when he's gone?"
"Mal, he's only gone. He could come back!"
"No, that's not..." I gave a frustrated sigh. How to explain what I'd done? "He isn't going to come back. He's not gone in a traditional sense. He's simply gone. All of the atoms, molecules, particles that made up the god Krishna are not in existence. There is no longer a Krishna. How could you think I'd just let him get away after what he did to you?" I was a little hurt, I'll admit it. I mean, I save her life and she thinks I must have done a half-assed job of it? Does reputation count for nothing anymore?
"Y-You did that?" And now I've scared her off.
"Yes."
"For me?" Her voice squeaked.
"Well, yeah."
"That's, uhm, that's..." Belinda blushed a brilliant crimson shade I had never before seen and got up. She gathered her purse and flung the teddy bear at me. As she rushed out of the room, she called back, "That's really very sweet Mal, I have to go now and we can talk job stuff later, thank you."
I was left alone with no clue what just happened. At least no more people would be dying.
At least, not until it was another day in Pandemonium.
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